Just a thought of you
by Remyslove
Summary: Rogue reflects on how she alwasy ends up getting hurt by those that she lets in


Right I know I should be updating Belonging or Price but I can't seem to get any further. It's been really hectic for me for the last few weeks with all my exams. I'm gonna put belonging on hold as a lot of people aren't really interested in it and I'll finish Price. Then I'll finish belonging and then whatever comes next.

So on with the show

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters as much as I would love to.

**Just a thought of you**

Rogue walked back to the mansion shivering in the cool November air with tears racing down her face. She hugged herself tightly as she walked along with the tears soaking her and mixing with her tears. Her thin black top clung to her and her skirt hung limp and heavy, as it was sodden with rainwater. Up ahead her brain registered the gate to the mansion and her hand automatically reached to type in her code. The gates creaked open allowing her in and they swung shut behind her. She continued walking up the path rubbing her hand across her face erasing any sign of her tears. She opened the door and found the last person she wanted to see at that moment. No actually the second person she wanted to see least. She had left the other one back at the coffee house with a lapful of hot java. Wolverine stood at the bottom of the stairs his arms folded as he watched the soaked Rogue come in.

"Your late stripes," He growled in his usual way sniffing the air as she closed the door to find out if he could tell where she had been. All he got was water, her perfume and tears? He shook his head slightly wondering why she was crying. He noticed her coat was missing but let that slide as she faced him. Her hair was plastered to her forehead and along the sides of her face. Her usually heavy make up was replace by a lighter version, slightly smudged from the rain and her tears. She just nodded at him looking at him with cold and lifeless eyes. He noticed she was shivering and soaked through.

"Go on up and get dry, I'll see you tomorrow morning for an extra DR session for being late. He saw that she barley registered it with a nod of her head as she headed up the stairs dripping water forming a trail of water droplets. He frowned slightly concerned as to what had brought her to cry like that but he just shrugged and carried on with his nightly rounds, making sure the students were all in and tucked up safe for the night.

Rogue made her way up to her single room dragging her feet as she went. She walked slowly still hugging herself slightly not registering she was leaving puddles as she went. She entered her room grateful not to be greeted by Kitty's smiling face but by her own private room, without a roommate. She closed the door behind her, switched the lights on and automatically flicked on her stereo and randomly pressed some buttons and music fizzled out of the speakers.

Tied to the testing of wills 

_When my heart breaks and spills_

Left to the sight of the sky 

_In your arms I'm defined._

Rogue peeled of her top and dumped it in the middle of the floor. Then she took of her pants and they joined the saturated pile. She pulled on her warm sweats and a mans flannel shirt. She sat down at her desk and risked a glance in the mirror. Her face stared back at her, empty and hollow. Her eyes had lost their usual vibrancy replaced with bloodshot dull green stones, her cheeks looked hollow and her hair hang limp around it. Traces of the evenings make up lingered in some places like a bad memory.

Thrown to the wolves in the minds of your enemies 

_And I'm stone in the eyes of your foolishness _

The words flowed around her as she remembered back to the evenings events that had lead up to her present and pitiful state. She couldn't believe how excited she had been; she cursed herself for allowing another one to get in under her radar. All she ever ended up doing when she let others in was hurting herself even more. First there had been Irene but she had betrayed her, kept her close only for her power, to aid her lover and Rogues other mother.

If this is what I'm meant for 

_No longer interesting_

Fall forward to even the score Just a thought to you. 

Then there was Mystique. Raven had been a manipulative creature. Pretending to be the X-Men when her powers first emerged only to entice her onto her team, to use her powers. She had made Rogue terrified of the X-Men, fearing them and their every move but she had come to trust them, become part of their team.

Tied to the testing of wills 

_When my heart breaks and spills_

Left to the sight of the sky 

_In your arms I'm defined._

The there was Risty, Her great and funny friend from Manchester, England. She had grown to trust her, allowed her into her life, even told her about her powers and she hadn't freaked. But it was all clear now. Risty had been Mystique. That was why she hadn't freaked about the powers, she already knew. She hadn't wanted to be her friend; she had used Rogue to get access to Cerebro at the mansion.

Thrown to the wolves in the minds of your enemies 

_And I'm stone in the eyes of your foolishness _

The next betrayal had come from the usual source. Mystique had manipulated her yet again to use her powers. She had used mind control in order for Rogue to gather all the powers she could and release Apocalypse.

And I'm nothing more than a line in your book 

Everything had been about her powers, how to manipulate her to let them use her as they wanted.

But this new betrayal was different. It had nothing to do with her power as far as she could see. It was a betrayal of the heart. A betrayal of her love freely given to another. She rested her head in hers hands, no longer looking at her reflection.

And I'm nothing more than a line in your book 

She had loved him. Correction she still did but she couldn't go on with this. She had let him in. Allowed him to see the real her and he had done what everyone else had done. Betrayed her. He had lead her on. Made her believe that he loved her as much as she loved him. But then he was able to that, with his devilish grin and his smooth charm. He had captivated her heart with his devils eyes and then handed it back to her in little pieces.

_And I'm nothing more than a line in your book_

He had betrayed her. He had kept a huge secret. Nothing like he was only getting close to her to use her and get to her powers kinda secret but the kind that can shatter the soul. The kind that can feel like the ultimate betrayal. He belonged to another. He had taken vows with another woman and no matter what he would not belong to her.

_And I'm nothing more than a line in your book_

She sighed, softly to herself feeling the tears well up again. She had left him sitting there in the coffee shop, storming out, running away yet again. She could see the image of the look on his face as he told her. It was the etched there forever.

If this is what I'm meant for No longer interesting 

The way he looked as he told her quietly. The strained look he had as they sat there as she took it all in. The pain in his eyes at her outburst. The pain they held as she told him to go to hell where he belonged. He had tried to explain to her but she didn't give him the chance to. She had stood there, tears beginning to course down her cheeks as she asked him if it had been true at all. Any of it. The way he had looked at her as he told her every word was true and the way she had disbelieved him. She had gotten up and started to leave, leaving him and the coat behind. He had called to her, started to follow but she had tipped the full mug of coffee into his lap and made her escape while he was busy.

Fall forward to even the score Just a thought to you. 

And here she was, in a pitiful state. She loved him but could she ever forgive him? Could she past his mistake and allow him to remain in her life?

_Torn/tear apart to you_

She felt a breeze tingle the back of her neck and she looked up into the mirror. There reflected in the shiny surface she could see the balcony door was open and a dark figure standing there with glowing eyes.

_Yeah I'm nothing more than a line in your book_

_Yeah I'm nothing more than a line in your book_

The only way she could answer her questions was to try. Try and see if she could work around this revelation. Try to see past the mistake as he did with hers and see if there was still a future for them. After all who could guarantee it would turn out the way she wanted. If everyone knew how things would pan out then life would be pretty boring. It was these kind of choices that gave life its shape. She turned around in her seat a determined look on her face.

FIN


End file.
